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If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?

Answer Nothing. Alligators do not live in the ocean

What is it that one needs most in the long run?

Answer Your breath

What do you call a slow skier?

Answer A slopepoke.

What do you call a woman standing in a tennis court?

Answer Annette

Two silkworms were in a race. Who won?

Answer It was a tie.

Why are artists no good in sports matches?

Answer Because they keep drawing

I have a chain but I’m not a prisoner What Am I?

Answer Bicycle

Where do ghosts play tennis?

Answer On the tennis CORPSE

What do you call your dad if he is ice skating and falls through the ice?

Answer POP-sicle!

In what sport does the offense score without ever even touching the ball?

Answer Baseball

Why was the bodybuilder evicted?

Answer Because he was squatting

In which game, do winners move backwards and loser move forward?

Answer Tug of war

Why did the basketball player visit the bank?

Answer His checks were all bouncing

What detergent do rowers use?

Answer Tide!

What is the juiciest sport of all?

Answer Squash

Why was the fencing champion so honest?

Answer Because he was a man of his sword

What bird can lift the most?

Answer A Crane

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Answer A pork chop

what does ducks say in boat?

Answer quack quack (quick.)

What do you get if your sheep studies karate?

Answer A lamb chop

What do archery experts do to stay in shape?

Answer Arrow-bics

What do boxers and fishermen have in common?

Answer They both throw hooks

A horse jumps over a tower and the tower disappears. It's not an illusion or a dream. So where does this happen?

Answer On a chessboard

What sport does a waiter do really well?

Answer Tennis, because they can serve so well.

What happens thrice in weightlifting, twice in swimming, but only once in tennis?

Answer The letter 'i'

Why is a tennis game so loud?

Answer Because the players raise a racquet.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

Answer A lacrosse coach

I have pedals but I’m not a piano What Am I?

Answer Bicycle

What do skiers eat for lunch?

Answer Icebergers

what shoots you, freezes you and allows you to move all at the same time?

Answer A Camera

Why don't dogs make good dancers?

Answer Because they have two left feet

Which vehicle is spelled the same forwards and backwards?

Answer RACECAR

Why is Santa Claus so good at karate?

Answer Because he has a black belt

When can you put things in a basket and never fill it up?

Answer In a basketball game

People always step on me and cover me in dirt, yet many times people come running back to me when they are in trouble. What am I?

Answer A baseball base

What is better when you break it?

Answer A record

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the halloween party?

Answer Because there was no BODY to dance with

What is it that leaps and runs and yet has no feet?

Answer A ball

Who invented gun powder?

Answer A lady who wanted guns to look pretty

What does a fish swimming in the water say when it strikes against a wall?

Answer Oh dam!

What kind of skates wear out quickly.

Answer Cheapskates (cheap skates)

What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

Answer A pig hog

How do people rowing in the ocean say HI to each other?

Answer They Wave!

What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common?

Answer They both use drills

What's the difference between a boxer and a person with a cold?

Answer One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.

Why can't you play badminton in the jungle?

Answer Because there are too many cheetahs.

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?

Answer Egg-xercise!

What do you get if a knife and a shoe had a baby?

Answer An ice skate

What sport can also be eaten?

Answer Squash.

What does a bodybuilder do for cardio?

Answer He lifts weights faster.

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