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If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?

Answer Nothing. Alligators do not live in the ocean

I run a dozen times faster than him,He runs all day, twice around the gym.Who are we?

Answer The hands of a clock

What do you get if your sheep studies karate?

Answer A lamb chop

Which vehicle is spelled the same forwards and backwards?

Answer RACECAR

Which ring is a square?

Answer Boxing Ring

You're running a race and pass the person in 2nd place. What place are you in now?

Answer You're in second place.You didn't pass the person in first.

Which dance was very popular in 1776?

Answer Indepen-dance!

What is a sheep's favorite game?

Answer Baa-dminton

What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common?

Answer They both use drills

What do you call a woman standing in a tennis court?

Answer Annette

What do you get if you lose one at golf?

Answer Stroke

Why did the basketball player visit the bank?

Answer His checks were all bouncing

Why do waiters hate tennis?

Answer Because everything they serve gets returned.

What does a fish swimming in the water say when it strikes against a wall?

Answer Oh dam!

I'm used in most sports, have four holes and a state shares my name. What am I?

Answer Jersey

Who invented gun powder?

Answer A lady who wanted guns to look pretty

What is better when you break it?

Answer A record

What do you call a slow skier?

Answer A slopepoke.

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

Answer A lacrosse coach

Why can't elephants ride a bicycle?

Answer Because they don't have a thumb to ring the bell

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?

Answer Egg-xercise!

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the halloween party?

Answer Because there was no BODY to dance with

What do you get if a knife and a shoe had a baby?

Answer An ice skate

What is an easter bunny's favorite sport?

Answer Basket-ball

Where do penguins go to dance?:

Answer The snow ball

Two players were playing chess. Both won. How?

Answer They were playing with different oponents.

It is kicked many times but never cries, what is it?

Answer A soccer ball

When two people are separated by a web, what are they called?

Answer Tennis Players

What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?

Answer A deck of playing cards.

What kind of skates wear out quickly.

Answer Cheapskates (cheap skates)

What is the hardest part about skydiving?

Answer The ground

People always step on me and cover me in dirt, yet many times people come running back to me when they are in trouble. What am I?

Answer A baseball base

What is a horse's favorite sport?

Answer Stable Tennis

Why was Cinderella such a poor lacrosse player?

Answer Her coach was a pumpkin.

In which game, do winners move backwards and loser move forward?

Answer Tug of war

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Answer A pork chop

What's the difference between a boxer and a person with a cold?

Answer One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.

What happens thrice in weightlifting, twice in swimming, but only once in tennis?

Answer The letter 'i'

What is a skiers favorite type of candy?

Answer Snow caps.

Why do ants dance on jelly jars?

Answer Because the lids say "twist to open"" "

What cookie does a basketball player like and why?

Answer Oreos, because they can dunk them

I hang in the sky, as birds pass me by, and I'm always connected to the ground. I dance in the breeze and am made of trees. I soar without making a sound. What am I?

Answer A kite

I have a chain but I’m not a prisoner What Am I?

Answer Bicycle

Two waves had a race. Who won?

Answer They tide

Why can't you play badminton in the jungle?

Answer Because there are too many cheetahs.

Where do ghosts play tennis?

Answer On the tennis CORPSE

What is the hardest part about baseball?

Answer The bat

I shoot , but never kill

Answer A Camera

What position does a cat play in baseball?

Answer Cat-cher

What do you call your dad if he is ice skating and falls through the ice?

Answer POP-sicle!

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