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If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?

Answer Nothing. Alligators do not live in the ocean

What do you call your dad if he is ice skating and falls through the ice?

Answer POP-sicle!

What happens thrice in weightlifting, twice in swimming, but only once in tennis?

Answer The letter 'i'

Why is Santa Claus so good at karate?

Answer Because he has a black belt

What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

Answer A pig hog

Why can't computers play tennis?

Answer They try to surf the net

Why is a tennis game so loud?

Answer Because the players raise a racquet.

Why did the defensive lacrosse player cross the road?

Answer To get to the other slide.

Which ring is a square?

Answer Boxing Ring

What is the hardest part about baseball?

Answer The bat

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the halloween party?

Answer Because there was no BODY to dance with

What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

Answer A lacrosse coach

Which vehicle is spelled the same forwards and backwards?

Answer RACECAR

In what sport does the offense score without ever even touching the ball?

Answer Baseball

What does a bodybuilder do for cardio?

Answer He lifts weights faster.

What is a horse's favorite sport?

Answer Stable Tennis

In which game, do winners move backwards and loser move forward?

Answer Tug of war

One sport in which neither spectators, participants nor leader knows the score until the contest ends. What is it?

Answer Boxing

What do you get if a knife and a shoe had a baby?

Answer An ice skate

Why don't dogs make good dancers?

Answer Because they have two left feet

How did the baseball player lose his house?

Answer He made his home run

What is better when you break it?

Answer A record

What sport can also be eaten?

Answer Squash.

Two players were playing chess. Both won. How?

Answer They were playing with different oponents.

Why should'nt you tell a joke while ice skating?

Answer Because the ice might crack up

What is harder to catch the faster you run?

Answer Your breath

What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?

Answer Pool-ups (Pull-ups)

What bird can lift the most?

Answer A Crane

What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?

Answer A rib cage match.

Where do ghosts play tennis?

Answer On the tennis CORPSE

What kind of skates wear out quickly.

Answer Cheapskates (cheap skates)

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Answer A pork chop

What is the juiciest sport of all?

Answer Squash

What is it that one needs most in the long run?

Answer Your breath

Why couldn't the sailors play cards?

Answer The captain was sitting on the deck

Wash it and it isn't clean. Don't wash it and then it's clean. What I Am?

Answer Water

What detergent do rowers use?

Answer Tide!

What do a bad football team and a bad crockery cabinet have in common?

Answer They have no cups

What do you get if you lose one at golf?

Answer Stroke

When two people are separated by a web, what are they called?

Answer Tennis Players

Why do ants dance on jelly jars?

Answer Because the lids say "twist to open"" "

What happens thrice in weightlifting, twice in swimming, but only once in tennis?

Answer The letter 'i'

What do boxers and fishermen have in common?

Answer They both throw hooks

What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common?

Answer They both use drills

What position does a cat play in baseball?

Answer Cat-cher

I run a dozen times faster than him,He runs all day, twice around the gym.Who are we?

Answer The hands of a clock

I'm used in most sports, have four holes and a state shares my name. What am I?

Answer Jersey

Why was Cinderella such a poor lacrosse player?

Answer Her coach was a pumpkin.

What cookie does a basketball player like and why?

Answer Oreos, because they can dunk them

What does a fish swimming in the water say when it strikes against a wall?

Answer Oh dam!

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